Unit 7 Meeting Aesclepius

So my blog has been a work in progress with the rush for Christmas and then getting sick and now well if it is a jumbled mess, I apologize.So here goes.

I don’t know if it is the season of the year or that it has just been a rough time with all these recent deaths, but I have been a very teary person lately. As I tried the Meeting Aesclepius meditation the first time, I immediately thought of my mother, who I miss very much. I got tears and that went along with memories and so on. So there was no focus on mediation this. The next time I focused on my Yoga teacher and mentor Julianne. In many ways she is the ideal that I hope to aspire to in my spiritual growth.

This went so much better, I felt a sense of calm wash over me and I found I was better able to “settle into stillness”. As I sat I focused on one of her favorite sayings, “Inhale gratitude, exhale love.” I settled and felt my breath grow slower and deeper. This time there wasn’t the emotion of sorrow that I had experienced with my mother, but more of peacefulness. I have to say this was not my favorite meditation.

I started this blog last week, but let me tell you of my journey this week. I missed Christmas. I had the stomach flu and though we had a houseful of people, I could not pull myself to be with them. Finally I felt good the next evening for a few hours and just as I was going to bed I had the hint of a scratchy throat and stuffy nose, yes I woke up the next morning with a cold. (joy) But as I had lain in bed before falling asleep I did a visualization of my immune system, white blood cells and T-cells waging war against the cold germs and destroying them. Good energy in bad stuff out…breathing. I have to say though I still have a cold, it is minor to what they usually are. I ran/walked eight miles today and I felt great.

Some one posted on Facebook this week “Inhale gratitude, Exhale love”. I thought this would be a fitting meditation. I took it on one of my short walks this week. It took a while to focus on it as I was under the weather and today I briefly attempted it on my long run, but it was not the time for it. I think this would be a great thing to practice a few times daily.  

"One cannot lead another where one has not gone himself" This saying is very true. I taught a boot camp style fitness class for three years about 10 years ago. Wow, that seems so long ago when I am writing this. Anyways, I had all sizes, shapes and levels of fitness in my classes. We did some fairly extreme workouts but I never made anyone do anything I had not done and benefitted from. If they were new, I’d do the exercise right there with them. I shared my experience as a newbie, especially anything I had struggled with. I still believe that you have to lead by example. I try to do that for the most part. I think if you are going to work in the wellness field you need to set an example for your clients or patients. One of the doctors at the medical center I work at was a self-proclaimed couch potato about six years ago. He joined the half-marathon/5K training program I had just set up. He was just going to walk the 5K. Each week he showed up and did the training distance we were doing for the half, but he said he would only do the 5K at the actual event all the way up until the week before the event. Well, he completed the half marathon and has gone onto running four marathons and numerous half marathons. For the past four years of the program he has been one of my coaches. He shares this story with his patients, credits this change in his lifestyle as saving his life. It was not just his health that benefited, but how he interacts with people and his patients has changed.

As far as implementing psychological and spiritual growth in your personal life goes, I think starting small and going from there. It could be by journaling, meditating, or just breathing. It could be as easy as setting your intention each day. I have a metal paperweight that says, “Be…” and then there is a place to insert a card with a different word, which can be whatever you want. Brave, patient, present, and many others. But I find it can help me set the tone of my day. Sometimes during the day I look at it and think, “oh how fitting for today”.

I think there is a lot to mindfulness and being present in your life. For example, today I could have spent my run worrying about getting my house clean for company tomorrow and making grocery lists, but I would have missed the misting rain on my face, the surprised smiles of those I gave my smile to, the beauty around me on the trail, and the joyful look of those who were accomplishing the distance of eight miles for the first time.

I wish you all a happy new year and safe travels.
Sarajane

HW420 Unit 6 - Intergral Assessment

This week I practiced loving kindness meditation only a few times. But it was really hard after the events that took place on Friday. This was a tough week with the murders of all those innocent children. I took in a lot of grief, hopefully some of the parents. Losing a child is something that should never happen to a parent. And this senseless killing of so many children, I just can’t say how awful, I can’t get my mind around it. Why? My brother lost his daughter and that is something you never recover from.

So as I practiced, I tried to take into my heart their loss and pain and sent love and comfort to all the families. I’d like to say that I found some peace, but this is too horrible. I think the best thing I did was I turned off the media coverage, as I do not believe it is doing anyone any good.

In the assessment I identified that my relationship with my friends and my boyfriend could use some work. I have become very closed off and yes I am busy with school and work, but I seem to be pushing people away. I know this is something that I need to work on. I know a lot has to stem from my unhappiness about where I live. I want to move back east and live in a small town. So I am aware of what we have studied this week that I need to look at it from a new angle, turn it around into a positive. I’ve been doing that for many years and I am tired of it so I need a new plan. Believe it or not, writing is helping.

I have to say, I am doing all right with fitness, nutrition and even self-regulation. I could improve in my interpersonal relationships, worldliness, and my psychospiritual area can use a lot of improvement. I am a work in progress.

I think writing a little more, calling my friends and talking to them instead of texting is a good activity. My relationship with my boyfriend, well one step would be for us to both put away the computers and other electronics and spend time like we used to. I think that is the first thing to work on over the holiday break. 

Have a good week. Just Breathe 

~Sara

Unit 5 Subtle Mind exercise

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I hope everyone has had a great week. I have had “Life” happening this week, the highs and lows. My niece had her baby, full term, but complications had her airlifted to UCSF Medical Center. All is well. But two days later I hear that the 8-year-old little boy from my hometown lost his battle to cancer. I don’t know him but I am overwhelmed with sadness for this family. The week followed with a migraine and hot flashes that have increased with intensity. The worst thing is that having a migraine kills the time that I need to be studying. But the week ended on a high note with my granddaughters first birthday.

Amidst all the craziness I had some time to do the meditation exercises.I found the Subtle Mind practice worked much better for me than the loving kindness. I think it is mainly because most of the meditation practices I do are focused on the breath and in yoga I focus on my breathing. I like the idea of an anchor to the breath. I noticed the chatter cleared much more quickly than the loving kindness.

 With the loving kindness I had to go through a list of people I love to decide who I send love to. What? There goes my mind.. Why that person?, but what about this person?…oh I wonder how their new job is going…..and off goes my mind. It is much easier to just focus on the breath.The other thing with the loving-kindness is that it brought up a lot of emotions. This time of year I miss my family, especially my mother, who passed away two years ago. I am still moved to tears at the thought of her or something that reminds me of her. Today is an example of that. We had a holiday lunch at work and I said to someone, “Save your fork, the best is yet to come” My mom would say that from a story she had read. It brought up gut wrenching tears.

Maybe I am the one I need to send loving-kindness to. But the subtle mind exercise is just observing thoughts that come up with no judgment. To me it is much more peaceful.I’ve listened to the loving-kindness exercise several times now and still the woman’s voice startles me. I have not experienced that with the Subtle Mind exercise.

The connection of the spiritual wellness to mental and physical wellness is that by developing a fit mind helps us to clear the mental chatter and even change it by replacing negative with the positive. By cultivating spiritual wellness we thrive emotionally and physically.

Cheers everyone. Be well.
Sarajane

Unit 4 Part 2 - Mental workout

I treated myself with loving-kindness and took another nap.

I think we all get a mental workout everyday that is not conductive to good living but having to navigate through a stressful, busy day. However, this is not really beneficial to us.
Good healthy mental workout deals with focus and control. By practicing meditation and being present in the meditation, one can develop control. When I taught Wholebirth Yoga one of the meditations we used was to help women to focus on the discomfort and just be with it without reacting. this meant just feeling everything, not adjusting their sitting position if it was uncomfortable, resisting itching their nose or anywhere else, noticing only. I know one of the hardest things for me is to resist scratching an itch. Many women told me that in their birth experience this exercise had helped them in the early part of labor to relax instead of reacting.
 
So I think I could take a cue from this learning and go back to noticing, but not reacting to things in my life that cause me stress.

Unit 4 - Loving Kindness

It's been a rough week. I have been so tired and most of the people around me have been sick. I have had some sleepless nights where my brain is working overtime, though my body is so tired. And days where I can't seem to stay awake.Today I decided to take a mental health day from work so I could nap and work on school work without feeling stressed out. I guess you could say that I am practicing loving-kindness on myself.

Sunday night when my mind was so awake that I could not sleep, I finished up the reading on loving-kindness in our text book and listened to the meditation. The house was quiet as it was 2 am. With my cat Max snuggled in my lap, I sat in my recliner and settled into the meditation. The woman's voice was rather soothing, but every time she would begin speaking it would startle me out of my meditation. I did not care for that.

As requested I tried to focus on a loved one, but my mind jumped from person to person, not really settling on any one person. As I turned loving feelings inward, I felt a sense of guilt, I think because I have been very "me" focused lately. It was hard to just observe, without analyzing. I told myself to "let go, don't judge" Then her voice again and it startled me again. Back to my breathing.
Self love is hard when you have been raised that this goes along with selfishness. All the back chatter enters my mind.

Next is thinking of loved one who is suffering. I think of my brother who lost his daughter four years ago and has a huge hole in his heart. It is hard to take his suffering as I still grieve too. I think maybe this meditation can help. Well, hope.

I went back to this exercise and listened to it again. Same thing, every time the woman spoke, it would startle me. I really don't like that.
This week loving kindness has touched me in another way. On Facebook I have been following a family from my hometown, Midland, Michigan. They have a son Jayden who's been suffering from cancer. Last weekend Jayden passed away. I was so struck with grief for this family's loss. Two days later someone, posted a letter that was sent to Ellen DeGeneres Show Facebook page from a woman in the Midland community about Jayden's wanting to "pay it forward".
Since he passed away there has been many incidents of "Paying it forward for Jayden" in Midland and since it was posted I have seen so many stories of people paying it forward.  People paying off layaway's down to one penny remaining, buying coffee for the person behind them in line and so on. I did not know this young boy, but was so totally moved by him. I wonder how I will pay it forward this week. Acts of Loving-kindness.

Unit 3 - My state of Mind-Body-Spirit

Reflecting on my physical well-being, I give myself a 9.

In general, I am in fairly good health. I get very few colds and flu. I have had a few migraines this past year, but I think they are hormone induced and have a lot to do with the increased hot flashes I have been experiencing. But considering that I have been battling a life threatening disease the past twelve year and had two major hip surgeries, I consider myself in great shape. My weight is a bit more than I like it. Well that’s not exactly right, my muscle to fat ratio is less than I would like it. While I am only a few pounds from my desired weight on the scale, I have increased in body fat and lost a great deal of the muscles that I worked so hard to develop. Really, I was in a Zumba class at a gym about six months ago. It was the first time I had worked out in a  place where there were mirrors. Looking at my arms and shoulders I kept thinking, “where did my muscles go??”  This of course is where I have to remind myself that I am fortunate to be able to do Zumba again.

My Spiritual well-being has been up and down so I would put it at a 5 or 6 right now. I do not have a regular spiritual practice and I am not really religious. I was raised Episcopalian. My father, who died when I was six, was an Episcopal minister. My mother was one of the most religious people I know. However, I was very turned off by the church, well mostly the congregation, who looked down their noses at those who had less than them. I also had issues with the whole sit, kneel, stand routine during church. The only reason I lasted in church until high school was the choir. I’ve always felt that there is a greater power, but not so sure that going to church was going to get me any closer to say, God. I find myself more at peace and connected to nature and the universe when I can get out into nature. Going for a hike, working in the garden, and being at the beach are ways that I feel connected with the universe. I have not done any of this lately. I have a Gratitude Journal, but I have not written in it for a while. All you do is write the date and five things you are grateful for. Simple. When times are bad you can reflect back to what you are grateful for. Today I could name five things, my kitties, my boyfriend bringing me tea while I worked on schoolwork, Yoga class, warm socks, and no headache. (I’ve had two migraines this month). I know I need to work on my spirituality. I hope going to Yoga class counts. Although today, we had a sub and she was like a dictator “do this” “do that”. At one point, she demonstrated a pose and then said, “You were supposed to be watching as I demonstrated, so if you get hurt it is not my fault.” Really? For one thing she was teaching poses that you do not teach in a large class format where you cannot adjust people to prevent injuries. Sorry, I got off track with my rant.

 C-psychological well-being? My psychological well-being is around 7. That is better than what I would have given it at the beginning or last term. I was fairly depressed. But HW410 Stress-Critical Issues in Management & Prevention, class was sort of like therapy in the way that I was able to identify there was an issue and throughout the exercises we did each week I was able to work through some of my issues. I am doing much better and I am coping with the stress of things I am not able to change. Some of the changes I would like to make, need to wait until I finish with school.

My physical goal is to gain more muscle mass in the next 12 weeks. I also am working towards walking a Half Marathon the first Sunday in February. This means making sure I get strength training included in my weekly workouts and stick to my training schedule

My spiritual goal is to set aside at least 5-10 minutes each day to go outside and do a walking meditation.

My psychological goal is to find mental peace each day with the things I cannot control. I can use my deep breathing in stressful traffic instead of getting upset.

I completed the relaxation exercise, The Crime of the Century this evening. I wanted to find a time when I did not feel drowsy and a time when the house was fairly quiet. Again I found myself sitting in my bedroom on my bed. The visualization was good. I have done similar guided meditations in my yoga training. At first when he spoke of the color red and being grounded, I didn’t feel much. However, I do feel centered and I liked having the opportunity of sending a loving message out to a loved one. I have a friend who just went through a bone marrow transplant after battling Leukemia the past year. He has a good outlook, but you can tell when you talk to him that it is wearing on him. So it was good to mentally send him love. Once again, towards the end, I started to fall asleep and I do not remember the end. I do feel a better state of well-being. This is good, as I felt shorted by the yoga class I had today.

Unit 2 Relaxation exercise - Sarajane B

 Unit 2 -
Salutations everyone -
Last night after reading a lot of personal war experiences from Vietnam and Afghanistan soldiers for my Social Science class, I decided this would be an excellent time to listen to the "Journey of Relaxation" exercise.
I made myself comfy on my bed and settled down. Now most recordings I have listened to have women's voices, I was pleasantly surprised to hear a mans voice. I found it soothing and peaceful. Just what I needed to calm my soul after reading heart wrenching stories. It did not take much time to slow my mind as it does when I try to meditate during the day. I followed his voice and allowed my body to relax. I tried to focus on my neck and shoulders as I have had a lot of issues with a pinched nerve in my neck. However, I was surprised when I tried to lift my arms and they felt too heavy to lift.
I went to sleep shortly after and I slept great. My thought, I need to try this more often. I would like to test this again during the day to see what kind effect it has on me.


I look forward to reading your thoughts about this Journey.


Sarajane

Welcome to my blog page

 You can call me Sara or Sarajane. I have had many nicknames over my life time, Just Jane and Sassy are two of them. Sassy comes from when I was a baby. My sister says they always called me that, but I do not remember. Just Jane is what a dear friend of mine called me after the "Romancing the Stone" movies, partly because Jane was the name I would give when a guy would ask for my number. So that is where the blog name comes from. About 10 years ago when I became a personal trainer I thought about starting my own fitness company. The name I chose for my company was Fit-n-Sassy, which I figured was better than Sassy Ass Fitness. However, life happened and I chose an alternate route, which brings me to now.

I am in Kansas this weekend visiting family. It is so quiet and peaceful here. I notice a slower pace of life that is calming. I do not like living in fast paced California. I am a small town girl and hope to move back to small town living someday, preferably in Michigan. It could happen.

My niece and name sake, Sarah (they spelled it wrong) is performing in the lead role of a high school musical, Bye Bye Birdie. She is following in my foot steps, except that she also has a great Opera voice. I am so proud. I even saw a few glimpses of me up on that stage. I am reminded of how much I loved doing musical theater and that once I finish school I should look into doing theater again.

I look forward to reading everyone's blogs.

Sarajane Bousfield